his no. 1

was supposed to do a quick update abt my first job yesterday n mayb more abt the first exco meeting n today's shopping trip. but kaypo me had to go read wat the bf had to say abt me. (coz jessica said he blogged abt me.) MY NAME IS IN BOLD N ITALIC! haha.. n being ME as usual, i boliao n go read past entries..

yeap, i knew he liked someone before me. but its just weird to hear my bf talk tt way abt some other girl whose name n face i can neither fathom nor picture. =(

yup, i noe he likes me now (or so i wld rather believe), its just difficult to imagine someone whom i associate as mine to actually hv tt someone in the past. hmm, everyone has a special soulmate, a first love, myself included.. but its just difficult to stomach tt someone other then me had evoked such feelings within him waaay before i did n tt he had actually desired someone other than me.

"these few days very busy... but so far it has been very fullling... and i finally made some progress to the girl i like... hee... at least tok to her for a few mintues... took my chance and got it. not bad keep it up jh!"

"i just realise i have been wrong for all many years. Now i know why. 'She' made me realise i must be myself again if i ever want to let her know me better. i know i am not the first guy to like her. cos i just read her testimonial just now. i'm just one of the guys at the concert while she is on the stage itself, performing. center of attention. now she's alone again, but she's not availabele. maybe waiting for her heart to mend? i'll made an attempt to know her better and myself. i will put on my best behaviour, and....(what to do now?)"

i noe aft tis entry, i will hv alot of ppl reading up his past posts n raking up moments n memories i wld much rather he forget. who noes, he might even resent me for tis. but blogging is abt tt feel n tt feel now is of a gf anxious to protect n mrk her territory.

perhaps aft reading abt his life before me, n being part of his now, i will stop taking things forgranted n just assume tt he is mine for gd. i cannot juz go with the idea tt our relationship is cast in stone n tt nothing will ever change. i love u baby, dun ever wanna lose u. never.

its embarrasing to admit tis but i already cannot imagine life w/o u here to nag me to drink water, actually sympathise with me when i'm ill n try to bow to my every whim n fancy. =D thanks for all tt u put in. i may seem unappreciative but i'm really grateful each n every time u go out of the way to please me. really!


p/s (when u say 'i love you' i hv nv ever doubted it.)